The Difference Between Sex Work and Massage Therapy—And Why Legalizing One Could Help the Other

Let me start by saying something clearly: I am not a sex worker. I'm a licensed massage therapist with over a decade of experience, and I'm proud of my ability to help people manage pain, stress, and chronic conditions through therapeutic touch. 

But I’m tired of the jokes. I’m tired of people I barely know making “happy ending” comments like it’s funny. I’m tired of wondering if a new client’s question is genuine, or if they’re testing the waters to see if I offer ‘something else’ on the side.

And here’s the thing that might surprise you: I think legalizing sex work is an intelligent, practical solution. Not because it’s what I do (again, it’s not), but because it could help both professions by drawing a firmer, safer line between them.

Sex Work and Massage Therapy Are Not the Same—But Legalizing One Helps Both

Right now, sex work is criminalized in most of the U.S., and that creates a lot of problems. For one, it forces everything underground, making it easier for human trafficking to flourish, harder for people in that industry to stay safe, and way too easy for the lines between massage therapy and illegal sex work to get blurry in the public’s mind.

That’s frustrating for those of us in the massage therapy field. I’ve spent years building trust with clients, maintaining my certifications, and operating a legal business. But because sex work is still pushed into the shadows, people confuse the two professions all the time.

Legalizing sex work would help clarify the difference. It would make it easier for people who choose that line of work to operate safely, pay taxes, and protect their rights, just like I do in my field. It would also give law enforcement more ability to target actual trafficking, rather than wasting resources cracking down on consensual adult choices or investigating massage therapists like me who are simply doing our jobs.

But Isn’t Sex Work “Immoral”?

Morality is where it gets sticky for many people. I know not everyone reading this shares my beliefs. I respect that. Maybe you’re a person of faith. Perhaps the idea of sex work makes you uncomfortable or even angry. That’s okay. But I’d ask you to consider this: what if criminalizing it is making things worse?

Whether or not you support sex work personally, we can all agree that no one should be trafficked. No one should be abused, forced, or trapped. And no one should feel unsafe doing legal work, whether that’s providing massage therapy or anything else.

Legalization and regulation could help shed light where there’s currently darkness. It’s not about encouraging anything. It’s about making sure people are safe, protected, and treated with basic human dignity on both sides of the professional line.

How to Find a Legit Massage Therapist (and What to Avoid)

Finding a legit massage therapist is pretty simple if you know what to look for. 

• Start by checking their license. You can easily verify a massage license in NC online.

• Look for professional memberships, such as AMTA or ABMP.

• Read reviews from real clients. 

A therapist should communicate their services, pricing, and boundaries. Avoid places with blacked-out windows, oddly low prices, or vague ads full of “code words.” If it feels sketchy, it probably is. Real massage therapy is a form of healthcare, never a front for something else.

If you’re unsure about what professional massage therapy looks like—or how to be a respectful client—visit RespectMassage.com. It’s a great resource created by massage therapists to educate the public and promote safety and professionalism in our field.

Until Next Time

If you’ve ever made a “happy ending” joke to a massage therapist, I’m not mad. I want you to understand my perspective. I know most people don’t mean any harm. But it’s still hurtful, and it’s rooted in a confusion that affects both massage therapists and sex workers in very real ways.

You probably wouldn’t joke like that with your chiropractor or your physical therapist. You wouldn’t assume your dentist is secretly giving blowjobs in the back room. So please, don’t do it to your massage therapist either.

Respect the work. Respect the boundaries. And if you care about safety, health, and reducing exploitation, consider that legalizing sex work could help draw the more precise lines we all need.